Shake it off

Despite spending the past 12 weeks of my life studying everything there is to do with Calculus and passing all of my assignments, I’m fairly sure I tanked on my final exam.

I’m not sure what happened exactly as it’s still a bit of a blur to me but it was like I was experiencing an adrenalin rush that wouldn’t end because my hands wouldn’t stop shaking the entire time I was in that room and questions that should have taken me a couple of minutes to write out took me twice as long to pen my answer to whilst others that were fairly simple to answer, did my head in.

I had no idea I would react like that in an exam environment and I’m still in shock about it because I thought as long as I felt confident in my maths Id be okay after a few minutes, once I’d settled in to the zone. Unfortunately I couldn’t find my happy place and therefore couldn’t relax. Regardless the hours still flew by and when I exited the building after three hours I seriously didn’t understand what had just happened.

“Pretty sure I just failed my exam.” I texted Mr X as I walked back to my car. There was a storm brewing on the horizon but I was in no rush to escape it.

“But you’ve said that before and it’s been ok.” He replied.

I’m always get super nervous about my results whenever I submit an assignment because in some cases you just don’t know how the teacher will mark you. However Maths is Maths and you either get it right or you don’t. There is no grey area.

“No I’m fairly sure I failed. That was just bad. I couldn’t stop shaking and I lost my focus.”

So yeah, that kinda sucked after all my hard work and I was enormously disappointed and embarrassed to get so far and so close to the passing this subject only to stumble so badly. I mean I knew how to answer those questions and the information was within me but my brain just froze up on me. I didn’t think that could happen….

I probably would have moped the entire weekend, (even though days off meant more time for getting the bathroom finished which in itself is exciting), if it wasn’t for Mr X who bought me comfort food for dinner, gave me lots of sympathetic hugs and distracted me with new episodes of the Walking Dead. Even though I’d screwed up the exam he was still proud of what I’d accomplished and that was nice to hear and helped put it all into prospective.

Because all in all that was a tonne of information to process in such a short time, especially when all I started with was basic algebra.

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