When to encourage or mind your own business?

What is it about bad relationships that some people find so hard to let go? Is it because they fear to be alone? Is it because that they feel they won’t find someone else who will want them? Or is it because they are afraid of other people’s opinion on the matter?

A friend recently announced her fledgling marriage was over and on face book nonetheless. It wasn’t a surprise to me because I was constantly updated with phone calls from said friend with some of the horrible things her husband would say to her when he was angry and upset and because of this I started to form an idea of the hell that she had been exposed to for months on end.

I’m not quite sure what finally prompted her to walk out on him one day and to officially announce the news but I’m glad that she had come to this conclusion on her own. I had mildly hinted that she should be treated better by her husband but ultimately I figured that if she wanted to end the relationship bad enough then she needed to do it herself to minimise the possibility of her returning to the relationship out of insecurity. I didn’t want to force her act hastily only to return to him later on.

What did surprise me however was the amount of opinions that poured in once this news was posted and most of them were of the “you should work on saving your marriage” type from the friends who attended church each Sunday. The friends who were well aware of her husband’s nasty nature and yet still thought it was okay to encourage her to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship because they were married.

The friend handled the comments graciously, thanking those people who had made opinions but making no promises to abide by them which I thought was nice of her but it did get me thinking about how many other people were out there that continued in abusive relationships just because other people encouraged them to do so.

Should outside opinions matter when it comes to a relationship? Or should you ignore what others say and do what you feel is right for yourself? 

2 thoughts on “When to encourage or mind your own business?

  1. I think some people are just afraid to be alone. Afraid to see who they really are without that ‘special someone’. Like the serial monogamist people. Jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend, not knowing what they really want.

    Personally, I don’t write things on my facebook about relationships. Besides something like “another first date tonight, (then insert something witty and sarcastic here)” Thats it. No update on the date, nothing further. I leave those details to my blog.

    1. It sure would be a difficult thing to do, live a life with someone just so you aren’t alone. I’m not sure I could sacrifice myself that way but to each their own, eh?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s